A Brand New Day Start From Today.

Wed. Little Rainy . Mood : EMO-ING, Regret-ing, Heart Pumping hard . 18 Nov 2009


Today I skipped my whole day class .
I also wondering how can I do that.
I guess the effect of "that" really are big ...
Pumping heart so hard ...
pain .. suffer..


Just now my uncle called me ,
we talk through all these again ...
he is comforting me ...
it makes me feel so warm ...
He said I make the right decision ,
he said I just need time to get through these mess ..
YES, I know it to... TIME ...
I need time to get through ..
I wish , I hope ,
less than 1 week , I'll be fine .
Or , Tomorrow everything will be good ~
Tomorrow Will be a better day.
Everyday will be a brand new day.

Pain and suffer are just temporary,
look through it and get through it,
I'm THE WINNER ~~~~~~~~
ARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH ~
PAIN ~ SUFFER ~ ARGH ~

Time,
now just torturing me ...
I miss my family ...
I miss my friend ...
I need someone to comfort me..
I just feel so hopeless ...
Heart so pain ...
brain so blank ...
Someone ..
Save me...

Hope time can pass fast ,
I need to get through this mess fast ..
I need to become back to normal ...
and even better ~~~
and just let this mess become a lesson,
a past for me ,
and never get me down ,
because , I got more important things to do.


My uncle ask me to focus on other important things,
Study , which it's my future , my life.
those money , can earn it back after graduate ,
just a small amount.
Yes, uncle, you are right .
Then now I'm wondering,
why it hunt me so down now ?
I'm thinking ..

And I think ..
maybe this mess interrupting bit,
plus , some personal thing ,
like friendship and love matter in this early sem ...
and ...


since last 1 or 2 weeks ago..
I suddenly feel losing the meaning to live on ..
lost my objective of live ...
somehow ...
don't know why I'm living ...
and in second of though ..
"Commit Suicide "
DUDE ~ everyone sure got think it before..
so do I ..
just for a second ...
then I think of.. " NO WAY "~
IS WRONG ~
My family, my friends ,
would sad for me ...
and it's wrong in term of everything ...
God will also never forgive me if I suicide ...
so , Suicide wouldn't happen ...
But yet ..

I lose the sense of living ..
the meaning of life ...
what should I do ...
Do I seriously need a people to consult me ?
or I need to see doctor already ?
Or just I can't stand off the feeling of loneliness ?
Yes, it's really suffer when alone ...
Actually I know all ..
just need someone to tell me ...
I need accompany from someone ..
friends , family ...

then finally I conclude myself ..
I need family and friends..
I miss them so hard ...
I barely can't breathe ..
I miss you all ...

I don't want to be alone .